Suicidal Ideation and Me – Steve’s Story
“Teach people working with us to really understand autism, ADHD, and neurodiversity. Professionals need to do more than learn about the mechanics of these conditions and strive to understand the human experience of living with them.”
A clinician at Positive Support Group recently had the privilege of speaking with someone very close to them – Steve (pseudonym), who lives with both ASD and ADHD and has faced some very dark moments in his life. For confidentiality-related reasons, they would both like to remain anonymous. Their moving and insightful conversation sheds light on Steve’s struggles, coping strategies, and powerful perspectives on what could improve the support systems around those like him.
How do you manage difficult moments?
Steve’s response to this question shows an incredible level of self-awareness. “Whenever something bad happens, like being misunderstood or treated badly, I think about it for years. The impact of negative experiences tends to linger, creating a heavy emotional burden. Bullying, misunderstandings, or being judged—these events can be deeply traumatising for someone, as they tend to replay these memories long after others have forgotten them. The memories stay vivid and it can feel as if they are happening all over again right now”.
Have there been moments where you've struggled with feelings of hopelessness or suicidal thoughts, and how have you managed those feelings?
In response to this question, Steve shares a powerful memory from over a decade ago, a time marked by distress and misunderstanding. He recalls an incident in school where he was made to take his food out of the oven prematurely, against his expectations. This caused him to feel sick later on that evening when he ate the food for his dinner. The teachers, who he believed should be teaching him right and wrong and protecting him from health risks, had caused him to be unwell. This seemingly small event was a tipping point as it became a catalyst for deep frustration, leading him to express his anger in ways he now reflects upon with a mixture of regret and clarity. Feeling belittled and unheard, Steve grew overwhelmed with the way his emotions were disregarded, resulting in a conflict with a teacher’s assistant who escalated the situation rather than offering empathy.
“I cried and cried,” he remembers, “and felt like I’d had enough of that school.” For him, this frustration was more than an isolated incident—it represented the accumulation of feeling misunderstood and unfairly treated. His peers taunted him for his interests, labelling him for enjoying things outside their norms. “I worried,” he confides, “that if I stayed there, with all the bullying, I might not make it through.” The strain of constantly defending his identity and interests weighed heavily on him, pushing him into a state of despair and intensifying his thoughts of hopelessness.
A year after leaving that school, however, Steve continued to struggle with the trauma of those experiences. “Even at college, the memories stayed with me” he says. The feeling of being misunderstood, a deep-rooted challenge for many people with ASD and ADHD, led him to once again confront the thought of giving up. But this time, he sought help independently. He researched coping resources and even turned to the NHS website to research suicide.
Gradually, this exploration, combined with resolve, helped Steve to see a path forward, and he began focusing on small moments of joy to bring himself back. His reflections emphasise the immense weight that misunderstanding and lack of support can have on individuals navigating both ASD and ADHD. But they also highlight resilience and the transformative power of self-advocacy and accessible resources in the journey toward mental wellness.
How We Can Better Support People with ASD and ADHD
When asked what others can do to help, Steve’s answer is emphatic. “Teach people working with us to really understand autism, ADHD, and neurodiversity”. He believes that professionals should not only learn about the mechanics of these conditions but understand the human experience of living with them. “If people aren’t responsible or don’t understand, there are consequences. Terrible consequences,” he adds, referencing his struggles with bullying and judgment in environments meant to support him. Steve’s words point to the importance of empathy and training. By equipping professionals with the skills to truly support neurodivergent individuals, we can create spaces that foster inclusion, safety, and belonging.
Final thoughts
This conversation the complexities that people with ASD and ADHD face when dealing with mental health challenges. Their struggles can be deeply personal, stemming from experiences others might overlook. For Steve, the journey of coping with these thoughts is ongoing. His perspectives remind us of the importance of compassion, accessible mental health resources, and tailored support systems that truly meet the needs of neurodivergent people. Steve’s voice deserves to be heard. Through listening carefully, we are reminded that mental health care isn’t just about addressing symptoms; it’s about listening to people’s stories, understanding their experiences, and building systems that genuinely support them.